I Hope This Kid Never Finds Out He Was Linked on Reddit

Out there, there's someone
Who will make you feel complete.
But not on Craigslist.

Keeping my Fingers Crossed for a Deathray

The midnight refresh
What will Woot offer tonight?
Cordless phones. Dammit. :(

AdSense, You'll Pay for This

My ads alarm me:
"God," "Jesus Quiz," "Child Abuse."
Google, what the hell?

I Wish No One Had Ever Told Me This

<3 is "heart,"
Or, if you're an utter perv,
Sideways testicles.

I Checked, and Double-Checked. They're Serious.

Oh, Lord! Bless this blog,
So it may better mock n00bs,
In Thy grace, Amen.

Streisand Bless This Blog

Do me a favor:
Sue me off the Internet.
I need more traffic.

Particularly Fun During Lenthy Gmail Conversations

New favorite hobby:
Torment Google context ads.
Refinance Spears Porn.