Two Hours, Twenty Minutes to Go

1:40 P.M.
Current Status: Still Employed.
The rumor mill lies.

Since It's Apparently Sticking Around

I have this headache.
It's off and on, for weeks now.
So I've named it Frank.

I Have This Thought Every Time My Alarm Goes Off

Mornings are stupid.
Maybe they will go away,
If I ignore them.

The Problem With Blogging is All Those Pesky Words

Polonius said
Brevity's the soul of wit.
Me? I'm just lazy.

Particularly Fun During Lenthy Gmail Conversations

New favorite hobby:
Torment Google context ads.
Refinance Spears Porn.

Obama is Awesome! But...

Please, tap on the brakes:
Cults of Personality
Are what gave us Bush.

Love Thy Neighbor, My Ass

"Too gay to have rights?"
This crime needs a stronger word--
"Evil" is too kind.

The Grapevine Needs to Cite its Sources

Office Rumor Mill:
I'm getting laid off Friday,
Sleeping in Monday.

My New Year's Resolutions Have Really Gone to Hell

Starbucks and cookies,
My breakfast of champions.
Diet Status: Grim.

The "Explody" School of Diplomacy

Dear Chinese People,
We can PWN satellites, too.
Love, America.

Learn to Take a Hint, Dude

Fingers in your ears
Can block out your friends' advice
But can't quash its truth.

Tilda Swinton <3

Hollywood's dazzled
At just how awesome they are!
(And how humble too!)

And So It Begins

Jokes are hard to make
In seventeen syllables.
Your mom writes haikus.